His Loss Hotline
His Loss Hotline is the podcast for anyone who’s been ghosted, gaslit, blindsided, or just finally stopped shrinking to stay in something small. Whether you left a marriage, an almost-marriage, or a situationship that had no business lasting that long, this is where the real talk lives.
Come for the unhinged voicemails, stay for the stories, the advice, the “wtf” moments, and the group chat-level honesty about what it really means to walk away and start over.
Call in. Sound off. Hang up. It's his loss.
His Loss Hotline
This Week in Ex Behavior
Every breakup leaves a trail. For some, it is playlists that read like open letters. For others, it is sudden Instagram rebirths, cryptic Venmo notes, or “coincidental” appearances wherever you tag a location. The submissions in this episode are sharp, funny, and sometimes unsettling: the “She’ll Regret It” soundtrack, the Reddit thread where strangers cast votes on a relationship, the glow-up arc that was really just a costume, the dollar payments labeled as closure, and the man who treated a coffee shop check-in like an invitation.
What ties these stories together is not only the clownery but the pattern. Breakup behavior is performance. Curated visibility becomes a quick ego fix, playlists turn into bait, and anonymous forums provide an escape from direct conversation. It is the illusion of moving on without the reality of growth.
The truth underneath is quieter. Healing does not live in captions or playlists. It is in the therapy that sticks, the apologies without angles, and the routines that remain even when nobody is watching. And when safety blurs with surveillance, boundaries matter more than explanations. Privacy settings tighten. Intuition becomes proof. Lurking gets named for what it is.
This episode is proof that you are not alone in witnessing the absurd, the petty, or the disorienting parts of what comes after. The real flex is not matching their performance. It is choosing peace, laughing with your friends, and telling the story on your terms.
The number cannot be reached now. Please hang up and try again later. Hello, and welcome back to His Loss hotline. I know you love me, or maybe not, or you're hate listening to me, but that's okay. I still, I don't know. I still get listeners. That sounded really cocky. Whatever. Um, this is the podcast where we uh we laugh at the wreckage, we roast the red flags, and we turn your ex's clown behavior into um premium entertainment. I'm Kelly, obviously. You're a hotline operator, freshly divorced, and emotionally unstable in like a cute way, right? And uh also the proud president of No, it wasn't just you club. In today's episode, we're doing my favorite thing, reading your submissions. Because as much as I love dragging my own exes and my ex-husband, um, nothing compares to the chaos you all send in. And uh, we can drag them all together. It's actually, I think, could be considered a hobby. Um, but this is uh ex-behavior. Basically, it's like a group chat but public and with way better commentary. Actually, I will say a lot of my group messages, wow, I said messages weird, um, are wild. So maybe not better commentary, but I'll try my best. And also, if you want your story featured, make sure you're following at Girl Hang Up on TikTok and Instagram, or you can visit our website, uh girlhangup.com. The inbox is always open. And honestly, the chaos low-key fuels me, fuels this hotline as well. But uh, let's get into it. Okay, so the first submission reads We broke up after three years and suddenly he's posting nonstop. Jim Selfie Sunsets Drake lyrics, fucking classic, and the caption new era. He literally hasn't posted since 2020. Okay, like literally not the new era caption, sir. Like, let's be so fucking for real right now. You're not in a new era, you're like in a dorm room or your bedroom with LED strips um on your walls, and probably I'm gonna guess an ego problem. And it's always like the same, if I'm being honest, it's like the blurry mirror selfies or an out-of-focus concert shot or some quote that like sounds deep, but is actually just from like a Netflix show. Like, wow, you are so profound, it's incredible. Um, and it's totally not embarrassing at all. And don't worry, I've literally posted my fair share of like cringy quotes and shit, but I don't know. I no judgment for the girlies, okay. Judgment for the for the boys slash men. Um, and you know he is watching his story views and waiting for you to look. Like, congrats, congratulations, you discovered the Instagram story button. Um, but honestly, like what? Too bad your content is just a Chipotle burrito and like the word vibes, which I use way too much. My bad, my bad. But uh honestly, I don't know. That was a crazy one. Let's just say that. Um, but we know, we know that man's not growing. We know that. Um, okay. The next one is Spotify Curator. So my ex made a breakup playlist called She'll Regret It. It had Adele, Juice World, and then a random hype track in the middle, and he kept it public. Okay. I don't I don't know. Like, that is so dramatic. The playlist called She'll Regret It. I think the only thing that she and probably every woman regrets is ever dating you, babes. Not not the girly, the guy making the playlist. And also like the whiplash of going from Adele to like hype music. This isn't like giving emotional range, it's giving like dumbass shuffle button. Like, come on, it's giving, I don't know how feelings work, so here's a mixtape for my ego. Um, you know, you know he was checking the play count. Like, oh, maybe she listened. No, babe. No, she's not. The only person listening is you, and maybe your cousin, I'm assuming, because that's the only other person that'd be interested. Um, okay. Submission number three. Um, oh, this one's so juicy. Um, I found my ex's secret Reddit account where he was ranting about our relationship. Full essays, and he actually broke up with me because strangers told him to. Oh, this is like the um Am I the Asshole? Is is this this has to be the Am I the Asshole like Reddit thread? Um, but like honestly, the Reddit manifesto, dead. Fucking dead. And like the username is always like super obvious too. Like some recycled Xbox Xbox live tag from like middle school. Um, these men, like they literally act like we're not detectives. Like, I will fucking find out, like the girlies will find out and we'll get ya. Um, and you know what like the kicker is is like he trusted strangers more than his own girlfriend. Like, imagine losing your relationship because I don't fucking know, like Naruto Naruto, I I think that's how you say it. Like Naruto fan 1997 told him to. That's fucking wild. Um, if he had paragraphs for Reddit, but couldn't send you a real text. Yeah, you dodged a bullet, my girl. You dodged a bullet. That's not a man. That is a Wi-Fi subscription. Like, holy shit. Okay. The fourth submission. Okay, right after we broke up, my ex suddenly started journaling, meditating, and posting motivational quotes. But this is a man who thought two-in-one shampoo was a personality. Cirl, you're funny. Um, I love a fake glow up arc. Not really. That's called sarcasm. Um, it's truly my Roman Empire. I think about it constantly. Um, because we all know the guys that do the the fake glow up. They're they're it's wild. But you know it's like fake because it's like super short-lived. So like week one, it's like gym selfies. Week two, it's like, I don't know, like maybe a green juice. Week three. Honestly, by week three, he usually gives up because he he got bored. Um, but my favorite is like the Instagram captions. Oh my god. They're like stuff like healing isn't linear, which it isn't, and I've said that, but you you know that man, babes. You are literally you rock dog, you raw dogged a monster energy drink at 9 a.m. You are not enlightened, you are you are not the um the end all be all of what TikTok therapy sessions like chill, chill. Unless you're going to actual therapy, then don't don't be posting it. Don't be posting it, babes. Um but like here's the thing like glow ups built on spite aren't real glow-ups, they're like, I don't know, costumes, like some shitty Halloween costume. And like eventually the mask, they'll slip. It always, always does. Um, submission number five. We're just going through them today. Um, my ex kept sending me one dollar on Venmo with cryptic notes, like for the love you took and consider this closure. Babe, stop. Can you block someone on Venmo? I feel like you should. But like, what is this like Venmo slam poetry session? Like, truly. Um, sir, like you probably still owe her for utilities. Don't send me one dollar with riddles attached to it. Um, also, they're supposed to be funny. I think any Venmo request needs to be funny. Um, because I think the funnier, the more unhinged they are. The wow, I fucked that up. The m the funnier they are, the more unhinged they are. Nope, that's backwards. You know what the fuck I'm saying. I'm not repeating it. I'm too tired to do that. Um, but like, dude, pay for your half of the Wi-Fi bill and just fucking go. Move on. Also, one dollar, really? Like, also, can you imagine scrolling your Venmo feed and seeing your ex performative paying you like this? If that doesn't like disc if that doesn't scream delusion, I really don't know what does. And then the last submission we'll go through today, um, for this episode. Um, this one reads, every time I tagged a location, my ex would mysteriously show up. Babe, I think that's a stalker. Um, a coffee shop, a dive bar, even Target. If I posted it, he was there. Girl, that might be a restraining order. I'm no I'm no legal expert, but god damn. Like the lurking, the orbiting, the like fake coincidences, like that's insane. Also, sorry if you just heard that. I just got an email. Um, but uh, sir, you like never showed up when I'm assuming you needed some emotional support, but suddenly you're showing up when you tag Starbucks. That's so suspicious. And also, creepy as fuck. Leave her the fuck alone. Like, I know he's probably not gonna listen to this, but like seriously, leave her alone. Like, maybe if it gets bad, get a restraining order. But girly, you need to give me a part two on this because I'm a I'm a little concerned. By a little, I mean a lot concerned. Um, and also like probably the worst part is when they act like casual about it, like, oh, I was just in the neighborhood. No, babe, you weren't. Like you the only thing you're in is denial and probably delusion. But like fucking hell. Pro tip like block him, restrict him, mute him, do whatever you can to get away from him. Cause holy shit, that's terrifying. Do whatever you gotta do. Um, because like the real closure isn't lurking, real closure is forgetting their last known location entirely, and also being safe um in in your world because you shouldn't have to worry about a man following you wherever you go. Um, so like that was the last submission for this week. So, like, what did we take away from all of this? Honestly, not much. Um, I'm so sorry the babes are going through this. I'm so sorry. Um, it's fucking crazy. Uh that, but like honestly, what we are learning that like ex behavior is always a mix of like tragic and a little hilarious sometimes. Um, and it feels like super personal when it's happening to you, but like later you laugh, or I hope you do. Um, because honestly, none of it's original, it's just like recycled male nonsense in like different fonts, if I'm being honest. And like the real flex isn't like outperforming them or making your own playlist or posting thirst traps for revenge. I think the real flex is like peace, laughing with your friends, or like I don't know, telling your story here and knowing it hits harder than his stupid ass blurry Instagram selfie ever will. Um but like if you're still in that crying stage, that's okay too. One day you'll get here, you'll laugh, and you'll realize, wow. I dated a man who thought fucking for breeze was a personality. And that's healing. And then you can laugh with your girls and you can move the fuck on. But uh, that's all for this week in ex behavior. If your ex did something wild enough to deserve the spotlight, send it in, DM me, drop it in the submission form, or uh tag at girl hangup on TikTok and Instagram. I really want the screenshots, um, the weird venmos, the embarrassing playlists. None of this is embarrassing for you, girl. Only embarrassing for him. We know that. But uh make sure you follow the show wherever you're listening right now so you don't miss future spirals or stories. And uh also make sure you're following at Girl Hang Up on all the platforms. I can't even remember all the platforms, but just like just follow us, please. Um, specifically for you know chaos between the episodes. Um, but new episodes of His Loss Hotline drop every Tuesday. And as always, please, please, please remember it's his loss. I'm sorry, but the person you called has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet. Goodbye.